The Worst Music Lyrics Of All Time Revealed! (Sort Of)

A wince-inducing list of the worst lyrics in music history has just been compiled by Johnny Sharp (né Johnny Cigarettes), an ex-NME journo.

Guess who’s No.1?

Mötley Crüe? Nope! Venom? Uh-uh! Poison? Not even close! Dio? Get outta here!

Unbelievably, The Steve Miller Band top the chart for the following:

‘Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree. Lovey dovey lovey dovey lovey dovey all the time. Ooh yeah baby I’ll sure show you a good time.’

Yes, we’ll agree the above words (from the song The Joker) are pretty goddamn awful.

But what Mr Sharp probably doesn’t realise is that Miller appropriated them from Lovey Dovey, a 1953 song from R&B group The Clovers. So stuff that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr ex-Cigarettes!

Also in Sharp’s list are Def Leppard for ‘You got the peaches, I got the cream’ (Pour Some Sugar On Me).

Plus America for the line from Horse With No Name that goes: ‘After nine days, I let the horse run free ‘cos the desert had turned to sea. There were plants and birds and rocks and things…’

(Hmm, dunno about you, but we’ve always found those words extremely evocative, not to say moving.)

C’mon – surely everyone here at www.classicrockmagazine.com can do better than that!

Post YOUR comments – along with YOUR choice of the worst music lyrics of all time – below!

We’ll start the ball rolling with:

We’re leather boyz with electric toyz.
We’re making noise tonight.
We’re leather boyz with electric toyz.
We’re making noise tonight.
We’re leather boyz with electric toyz.
We’re making noise tonight.
We’re leather boyz with electric toyz.
We’re making noise tonight.
We’re making noise. Making noise.
Make some noise.
Tonite. Tonite. Tonite.
Well all fucking right. Yeah.

(Leather Boyz With Electric Toyz by Pretty Boy Floyd)

Now… over to YOU!

*Crap Lyrics by Johnny Sharp will be published by Anova Books on June 1 at £7.99.

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