The 50 Worst Albums Ever!
Day 2: Senseless Solo Albums. Plus: have your say!
The new issue of Classic Rock features a rundown of the 50 Worst Albums Ever. From incomprehensibly awful solo records to ill-advised dabblings with gay disco, it’s a litany of disaster that shows exactly what happens when albums go bad.
Inside the issue you’ll find the likes of Kiss’s Gene Simmons, Queen’s Brian May and Keith Emerson of ELP defending – or, in some cases, apologising for – their actions.
Over the next few days we’ll take a closer look at all 50 of these solid-gold stinkers here on the Classic Rock website. And once you’ve taken in these frankly indigestible offerings, we want you to tell us what your worst albums are.
Day 2 of our series features the most senseless solo albums ever unleashed on the populace. Strap in, it’s going to be a bumpy ride…
1 Keith Moon – Two Sides Of The Moon
Yes, he was a great drummer. But when it came to writing songs he was certainly no Pete Townshend. Moon The Loon’s ill-advised debut solo album from 1975 is a drunken mess, featuring bad doo-wop pastiches, Beatles covers… and an S&M suite in the studio. The full, inglorious story is in the latest issue of Classic Rock, but you can hear a taster here in the shape of his karaoke-tastic take on The Beatles’ In My Life.
Redeeming track: Crazy Like A Fox, co-written with guitarist Al Staehley.
2 Mick Jagger – Primitive Cool
Jagger is one of the great rock frontmen. At least he is with The Rolling Stones. His shonky solo albums are another matter – not least this wince-inducingly bad 1985 turkey. Where’s Keith when you need him, eh?
Redeeming track: Peace For The Wicked just about passes muster. Sadly it’s not on YouTube, so here’s a clip of the Stones playing a blistering version of Street Fighting Man in Belgium in 1973.
3 Gene Simmons – Asshole
The title track is bad enough, and Waiting For The Morning Light, his co-write with Bob Dylan, sounds like it was knocked off in five minutes. But those two sound like beacons of glory next to his granddad-at-the-disco version of Firestarter. Yes, that’s Firestarter by The Prodigy.
Redeeming track: Kiss-esque rocker Sweet & Dirty Love. Mainly because he wrote it for Kiss in 1976.
4 George Harrison – Gone Troppo
John Lennon made Two Virgins, and Paul McCartney was behind Give My Regards To Broad Street. But Harrison stole the Worst Solo Album By One Of The Beatles award for this heroically slapdash twaddle.
Reedeming track: Circles, written by Harrison while he was still in The Beatles.
Now it’s your turn. We want you to tell us the albums you think are worse than the ones on our list. Email your nomination, with a few words as to why it’s such a stinker, to email@example.com, headed ‘The Real Worst Album Ever’. We’ll print the best suggestions in the next issue of Classic Rock.
Come back tomorrow for more on the 50 Worst Albums Ever.