Now you can pee in the Kiss bassist/vocalist’s face – and believe us, he isn’t pulling your chain!

Gene Simmons has issued the following terrifying update:

“Yep. For all of you who have always wanted to pee on my face! Now you can.

“[US TV Network] A&E has put Gene Simmons Family Jewels urinal cakes throughout the country, featuring my face on the cakes. They’re in most bathrooms.

“Now, for those of you who need detail – all you need to do is point your tool into the urinal, hit the ‘cake’ with your flow and don’t be surprised if the urinal cake talks back to you!

“And please, leave the urinal cake in the pee hole for others to enjoy.

“Reports have come in that some of you have been stealing ‘em. If so, kindly remember to wash ‘em before you take ‘em home.”

A new series of the reality TV show Gene Simmons Family Jewels recently began on American television.

The prospect of Gene Simmons urinal cakes set our minds racing – and we came up with the following lavatorial Kiss songtitles:

I Stole Your Lav
Ladies’ Room
Nothin’ To Loo-se
Love Theme From Piss
WC You In Your Dreams
Christine Latrine
Rock Andrex Roll All Nite
God Gave Bog Roll To You
And… er… Lick It Up
(That’s enough Kiss songtitles – Disgusted Ed.)

Can YOU think of any better Kiss songtitles? Post your comments!