Bible-Bashing Fanatics To Picket Dio’s Memorial Service
Religious extremists are threatening to disrupt Ronnie James Dio’s memorial service to protest against the late singer’s alleged links with Satan.
However, the Brave Words & Bloody Knuckles website is reporting that the independent Westboro Baptist Church intends to picket the service ‘to remind you who worship that old serpent, Satan, that your time is very short. You know 67-year-old, Satan-worshipping (or at least one of their enablers) Ronnie James Dio (of showing his devil horns to the world each time he goes in public) Black Sabbath fame is dead, right? We’ll be there! Just because the chances of any of God’s elect being amongst this group of heavy metal sycophants is slim to none does not mean they should not get some good words.’
According to the Westboro Baptist Church, Dio’s ‘sins’ include:
* He hates his neighbour(s) starting with Ozzy Osbourne, and continuing down to his pornography star niece Gen Padova.
* He hates God. Pay especial attention to the fact that he changed his original sir name [sic] from Padova [actually Padavona] to Dio, which means God in Italian.
* Ronnie the simpleton enabled, and encouraged Sorceries: everything he was about including the little finger horn thing (he got this from his mother which is an incantation to ward off the ‘evil eye’) to the drugs, bloody raw meat and his fellowship with those pentagon necklace-wearing freakish band members. [Actually, he got the horns from his grandmother]
More details can be found on the official Westboro Baptist Church website here. Scary, innit?