With a British General Election imminent, here’s 10 things we’d like to see happen (or maybe not).

* Ritchie Blackmore comes back over here and – in full minstrel uniform – stands as a candidate for the Monster Raving Loony Party as a tribute to his old mucker Screaming Lord Sutch.

* Conservative leader David Cameron declares himself a black metal fan, dons corpse paint and makes Emperor’s I Am The Black Wizards the party’s theme tune.

* Gordon Brown decides to up his cool factor by getting in Anvil to write a special song for the election. Well, his brother-in-law did work on Anvil: The Story Of Anvil (seriously, he did!).

* The Lib-Dems, meanwhile, decide they need more regional clout in the North East of England, and so hire AC/DC’s Brian Johnson to teach them all how to speak Geordie (like).

* The Scottish Nationalists want to ban all post-Fish Marillion albums. How dare the band replace the great Caledonian with a mere Sassenach!

* The Tories decide that math metal should be introduced into schools – after all, bands like Meshuggah must be good for the educational system.

* Labour hire David Coverdale as their unofficial employment spokesman. After all, with the number of people he’s had in and out of Whitesnake, nobody knows more about the subject.

* Nick Clegg, leader of the Lib-Dems, wants the system of putting an ‘X’ on the ballot paper scrapped. He reckons a lot of drummers will think they’re being asked for their autograph!

* The Welsh Nationalists try to get away from the image clichés of sheep and leeks by going emo, inspired by Lostprophets et al. They aim to give out free hair-straighteners to all Welsh speaking folk.

* The Green Party reckon that all festivals should generate their own natural power. They therefore have a scheme to connect up all on site toilets to generators and use the, erm, organic waste for recycled energy!

OK, any more ideas? Let us know below…